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Coaches, may I have your attention? Just over the horizon, 2009 is waiting. It’s a scary, complex, confusing and yes, exciting time to be alive.
In reality, most every one of us in the world has been dumped out of our comfort zone. There are many questions: If who we think we are is tied to what we DO, and what we DO disappears, will we disappear also? If who we think we are is tied to what we HAVE, and we can’t HAVE so much anymore, will we not BE as much as we were?
Never has it been more important to understand that we are human beings – not human doings – not human havings. BE-ings.
Conveniently, globally, coaches have been discovering and exploring this concept for years. I will even go so far as to say that coaches have been “in training” for this particular time in history.
How reassuring for all those who are feeling stranded, frightened, and lost outside their comfort zones.
In 2009, coaches have a magnificent opportunity, a mission, indeed a duty, to serve the many human beings who cross their paths. Both formally and informally. Individually and in groups. On the phone or on the airplane. For pay and pro bono.
I am reminded of the new coach who invited a group of friends over for Cocktails and Coaching, and how she grew a business from those who wanted to continue their coaching one-on-one. They in turn referred others to her as well. She also coached those who wanted to continue but couldn’t pay. And guess what? They referred other paying clients as well.
Let’s start 2009 marching together embracing this bold coaching movement, paying it forward, serving as many human beings as possible with the gift of coaching. People are yearning to find more in themselves than doing and having.
Coach well and abundantly. Then we’ll check back at this time next year and share our stories. Are you in?
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There are 17 Responses so far...
Hi Linda,
Your title caught my eye…
Do people really “need” coaching? No
Is this crisis really that much different from those of the past? No
Can we just take it for what it is and know that we collectively and as individuals are more than enough to handle any outcome.
Talk soon,
James
Thanks, James. However I respectfully disagree that this world crisis is much the same as we have faced in the past. I have never (in my 58 years) seen as many people (worldwide) who have been dumped out of their comfort zones on so many different levels. Individuals, families, communities and nations are simultaneously being challenged to find news ways to do most everything. It’s an exciting, scary, emotional and hopeful time. I DO agree that collectively we have the tools needed to help one another create meaningful solutions – and I certainly believe coaching will help lead the way.
This might sound a bit edgy…just know it is meant with kindness and spoken with hope…
I do not see any one “LEADER” within the coaching community who is courageous enough, let alone willing to accept that which you share…”coaching will help lead the way”!
Comfortable conversations are easy, even when they have tinge of discomfort, still, they are easy.
Change can be EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE! Simply because there is discomfort does not mean there is a need for help.
As shared in my opening post…it was the subject line that hooked me and had me respond.
Need versus Coaching, isn’t there a difference?
What would happen to all of these “UPSET PEOPLE” if tomorrow the media was suddenly able to announce that the world leaders have managed to resolve the credit crisis. Would their world instantly be better? If so why?
What was it that really caused the initial upset?
I’m not being trivial, rather I’m suggesting that there is an another perspective. An invitation to a different possibility…
Do we really want to sit around in panic until a boy or girl innocently looks at the king and says…
“Where are your clothes?”
Why would we want to compare today’s challenges with any other time in history?
Isn’t there an opportunity to look at it with a new set of eyes?
What are the difficult questions being avoided?
What is the worse case scenario?
I’m really curious…do we sit back as a people and allow the few (the mindset that created the situation) to find an answer? Or do we begin a different conversation and invite the few to see another possibility?
What are the choices we have to make?
Possibility is not an accident, it is a choice!
Hi James,
You ask so many questions in your most recent post, but I’m not clear about what your own answers are. I realize you stated you don’t think that coaching is more “needed”, but I’m curious about what the “other” perspective is, and who isn’t wearing any clothes. What difficult questions do you think are being avoided?
With curiosity,
Jonathan
Hi Jonathan,
Ok, you got my attention…thanks…for slowing me down.
As I read your question and read my post, knowing I’m a think out loud kinda guy, I realized it’s about “I” versus “WE”. It’s about responsibility versus going along with the flow i.e., living the drama.
A discussion about “WHAT IS”!
It’s so easy to blame, how could all of these leaders make such irresponsible choices? How could they be so greedy? And then I realize there is no coincidence that today I was listening to Byron Katie Mitchell “End the war with yourself”.
How could any other time compare to this time…this has got to be the absolute worse…what about Hitler, what about Rwanda…and financially clearly there have been times when people chose to take their lives as a result of the financial disaster…can we really compare and expect to benefit from it?
On a Monday call Katherine Gotshall English brought Thomas Leonard and his notion of “Kill Hope”! It really boiled down to being honest with yourself. Rather than living and betting on the expectation…choosing to embrace and to live with “what is” right now.
As a society we have been so obedient as a whole…get a job…don’t save…have it all now…feel better…have it all now…don’t use cash…use plastic life is so much better…don’t worry about affording it…no payments…no interest for 48 months…can afford a house thats ok…never mind the principal…heck we’ll even finance the interest…don’t worry about the money…it will all be ok…
I seem to recall a story of children eating until they could eat no more only to find themselves being served as the main entree.
Go ahead…connect the dots…winks!
Until people are willing to unplug, to step back, to take a breath or two, how real can any conversation be?
Responsibility is about choice, it’s about cause and effect…it’s about having a relationship with “WHAT IS”.
What was it the three little pigs were teaching us as children?
Did either you or I build a life of straw and twigs or did we build it with bricks? Times like these will reveal “WHAT IS”.
What choices have I made? Not what choice did they make…rather my choices…ME, MYSELF and I.
What did my actions say I valued most? Afterall, they can’t hear a word I’m saying because my actions are speaking so loudly…wink!
I hear Seth Godin say we as a society need innovation and asking where is it?
Jonathan, I’m not interested in a feel good conversation. I don’t want people to “AVOID” what they’re feeling.
I WANT THEM TO FEEL and I WANT THEM TO PAY ATTENTION! Just as I do for myself.
People don’t need help, just the truth!
People don’t need someone to do it for them, rather someone willing to stand for them and by them!
If I’m angry with corporate leadership for being so greedy, as Katie might have me say…I would say “I am angry at myself for being so greedy.” And that doesn’t feel good to say, yet it does get my attention.
How I feel, how others feel isn’t someone elses responsibility….IT’S MINE and theirs alone!
Stop trying to fix everything and start experiencing it. Stop trying to avoid it and start feeling it.
Again, I’m thinking out loud and this might not all fall together in a nice well formed way and oh well…I’ve done my best for the moment.
Instead of an attitude of fear…how can we find the voice, within, that says “Today IS a good day to die!”
The voice that says get out of my way, come hell or high water it’s going to happen…
Take away my over inflated home…
Take away my over sized cars…MY OVER SIZED LIFE…
Take it all…go ahead…that will NOT STOP ME!
I’m not interested in taking a defensive posture…when companies do that jobs are lost, sales decline and attitudes fade.
Is what I’m doing worth fighting for or not? If so get ready…
Are we talking about a revolution or simply how to survive the next 24 months…I’m guessing you can tell which thoughts I find most interesting.
James
Well, that’s a lot more of your perspective….
So, couldn’t it be about “them” AND “us” (as opposed to just “them” or just “us”)?
Couldn’t we be angry at “ourselves” AND “them”, or understanding towards “ourselves” and “them” or a combination of all of the above and more?
I think one of the things you are saying is that blaming others can be a way to avoid looking at ourselves and our own roles. I would agree with that.
However, I don’t see it as either /or. Not sure if that is what you are trying to say, but that’s the way I read your comments (sorry if I misconstrued you).
Maybe the bottom line is what can each of us, and we as a society, learn from all of this?
Jonathan,
First, let me say thanks for trying…
One of the things I know about me…sometimes a given idea generates so many different threads of thought in my mind’s eye that it’s very challenging to reel them in. I’m afraid I have derailed myself within this discussion — this seems to speak to your confusion! And, perhaps I stepped on Linda’s toes as well.
These talks are not personal for me…I love the opportunity to dig into a discussion that strikes a cord with me…still, there are those moments, like this, that my flow is really choppy. That’s just me!
Ok…let’s see if I can clear this up…
1. First post: I didn’t fully read the post. I was simply hooked by the title “need” versus “coaching”. People do not need coaching. Is there a benefit yes…can we grow…will we grow…without coaching…yes.
People are coached everyday without ever knowing or realizing it, often enough, perhaps not.
2. Is it a fact that we are in a crisis? If so…how many people does “we” include? It’s not everyone! How do I know, because everyone isn’t experiencing this thing so many are calling a crisis.
Why does this matter…because…as a coach (someone who wants to hold a perspective that enables versus disables ) I do not see how I will benefit others by joining a panic that I myself don’t see as an absolute fact. No matter how many there are saying the same thing.
Are there lessons to be learned…OH YEAH…and the car industry as well as the consumers are about to get a big dose of it.
I’ll just stay with this thought…
Cause and effect…Choice and actions have brought us as a nation – and maybe even globally – to this challenging point and time.
Just because a manufacturer can manufacture goods in other countries doesn’t mean that it is always a sustainable practice. If there is a significant difference between the two financial infrastructures, the financial infrastructure that is weakest will actually end up benefiting most from the stronger of the two. Creating a very real an unsustainable drain on the stronger financial infrastructure unless the weaker is actually recirculating the dollars back into the stronger economy.
When there is not a natural dependency in the two economies, an imbalance is created and it will always benefit the weaker while weakening the stronger. This is an unavoidable fact.
Unfortunately there is far more going out than coming in…when it comes to the US. I say US because it is my home. The home of the “crisis”.
Which brings me back to social responsibility…
Consumers have got to realize “they vote with their dollars”. Either they are choosing to support the communities of which they are a part or the communities that are external to theirs. When the two are out of balance the results are never fun.
It’s called a redistribution of wealth! Unavoidable given the obvious choices that have been made over the last 20 years.
It is so easy for me to see in my mind why…with such an imbalance in trade…our community cannot reasonably expect to continue to see a continued growth in income and the lifestyle to match. I do realize there is the minority that will continue to grow, yet the opportunities for the typical are diminished by the downward cycle (pressure) of product costs and the decreasing wage that supports it.
We have an economy that has literally been milked dry by creditors who have managed to create, in the masses, unsustainable habits of financing a future they may never see. Such leverage cannot be maintained indefinitely by either side…that is the fallacy.
Those who are making is possible finance a sustainable future are in fact putting their very future on the line as well. As with farmers, who have learned how to manage their crops by using rotation and other best practices, it is time for these financial farmers to begin to build a new sustainable model of possibility for the consumer they wish to benefit from.
On average, the greater the reserves found within a given community, the stronger the community will be. The more resilient the community will be. The community will have stronger consumers as well.
Growing a stronger consumer base will create bigger opportunities for those who get it.
As a society I feel we have mostly been taught, and for the most part accepted, that “things” (the purchases) are more important than “life” and the people with whom we interact.
If there is a crisis it is because there exists a perspective that says “things” matter more than “people”.
If there is a crisis it is because there is greater value in being busy than “living”.
If there is a crisis it is because far to many people are willing to trade their time rather than invest their time in “people”.
When life becomes unbalanced it will correct, it’s an unavoidable fact. The stock market does not rise without falling or visa versa. The powers to be have been allowed to make choices that have accelerated the need for a correction and now we have people trying to avoid the need for a correction, creating even more imbalance.
The checks and balances that exist in nature and our lives have NOT been allowed to do what they do. Rather, our leaders have sought to manipulate them in ways that simply are not sustainable.
A market with consumers who can support it will collapse, no matter what, unless the consumer is someone who finds a way to be able to support it.
These methods either weaken or strengthen an economy.
Ok, that is part of my thinking on why we are here in this place that some are calling a crisis…yet I cannot help to see it more like an opportunity to “WAKE UP”.
We as people, you and I included, continually vote with our time and our money to support a certain quality of life. That quality of life is either going to be sustainable or not.
The practices of the manufacturer “MATTERS”!
To make a difference as the collective known as “WE”, each of us must come to understand our responsibility, our abilities to effect change, the cause and effect of our choices and actions. All to often the few are given authority over the lives of the many and with little resistance. An unfortunate truth it is.
So yes, coaching is powerful! Yes, discussions are a great place to start and no, this is not a crisis, it’s a wakeup call…around the corner (if sustainable changes aren’t made) waits a correction that will make this current challenge look like a momentary interruption.
When we ignore the opportunity to choose, we allow circumstance to have a bigger voice in our life than we do ourselves.
This is a wakeup call…circumstance (life) is saying things, as they are, are not sustainable.
Will enough people hear the call, I don’t know?
There have been many economies which have seen their monetary systems collapse. Still, they are here today and working.
Coming back to Linda’s initial post…
What are the discussions that we as people, not just coaches, can begin with others to create a sustainable change…that’s the question.
If there is concern, doubt and fear then embrace it, allow it to be spoken and then offer the opportunity to see another perspective. Not everyone will see today’s challenges as a crisis, so what is the difference?
James
What a discussion both of you guys give to us!!!
I disagree with the subject, with your ego´s intention, with the emotions and with everything you show.
What were your emotions in this “conversation”, how are your conversations day by day in your “world”? On this day, at this time are you in the necessary mood to help people?
You have caught the “coaching illness”.
Bbest regards……
Actually, the real truth here is that everyone IS a coach.
Regards
Martin Haworth
Such an odd thread…my thoughts have been so choppy with it. Clearly this thread has been a runaway train for me…maybe it’s time to eject!
James
Hi Marcelo,
What is the “coaching illness”? What are you assuming my ego’s intentions were?
This is not a typical conversation in my world and this “conversation” isn’t coaching or psychotherapy, two of the ways I help people. However, I also won’t claim that this represents the sort of dialog I prefer.
I’m concerned that the way this thread has developed can turn off Coaching Commons members and discourage participation, although I hope that is not the case.
I appreciated Linda’s invitation. We can discuss whether the world “needs” coaches or “can benefit from” coaches, whether it is a “crisis” or “more of the same”, and whether it is “their” fault or “our fault”, and I think it would be a shame to lose the initial idea – let’s coach more and report back.
So, does this sort of “discussion” build community, discourage community, or neither of the above? Any other thoughts?
Hey Jonathan,
Yes, you are so right, let’s not let Linda’s point fade away!
Here is a call link I had today…each month I will be contributing to such a conversation…
http://www.coachesbuzz.com/quick/q53.htm
During the call the idea that came to mind for me was the idea that each of us, as people, can choose to meet at least one new person…stranger or neighbor…a week over the course of 2009.
Every discussion begins with two people! It is important that we remember where it begins.
James
Thanks, James and Jonathan. My point was that coaches have been training in this fresh, bold field, and suddenly there seems a plethora of people who are looking for fresh, bold ways of thinking and living. How timely.
Hi Linda,
There in lies the whole disconnect for me…what you just shared would have, for me, been a far more effective subject line. The post and the subject line seemed disconnected. Trying to bring the two together…hurt my brain!
I absolutely love how you said “people who are looking for fresh, bold ways of thinking and living”…Now that’s a game I want to play and to be a part of!
Thanks for hanging in there.
So let’s make our resolution for 2009 “Fresh, bold ways of thinking and living…” Who’s in?
I’M IN AND ALREADY LIVING IT!!!
Count me in.
Jonathan