Is Your Client Overly Dependent On You?

Professional coaches know they have successfully coached a client who no longer needs coaching. But how should coaches handle those clients who seems to need them more, not less, as the relationship continues?

What should coaches do when clients become overly dependent?

It may be temping to think of client dependency as a rare occurrence that strikes the novice more than the seasoned professional. But a 2009 Harvard Business Review survey of professional coaches suggests the issue is far more widespread than many coaches might suspect. Of the 140 professional coaches who participated in the online survey, forty percent acknowledged experiencing “overly dependent” clients. More than sixty percent of them have been in business at least ten years.

Coaches who have experienced the problem, including both survey takers and several professional coaches who agreed to interviews last week, say clarifying boundaries and expectations up front is the best preventative medicine.

Keith Fairmont, a professional coach for the past 15 years, said he prevents dependency by structuring his coaching sessions to last between six months to a year. Clients develop a clear set of goals and must complete “homework assignments” before subsequent meetings.

“I like to lead from one step behind,” Fairmont said. “I don’t have the answer. My job is to help the client discover his or her answer, drawing out from people the wisdom they already have.”

Kaley Warner Klemp, a small-group dynamics coach, agrees with that approach. “When I’m coaching, I’m helping [people] activate their own insight or providing a tool or framework so they can address another person within the organization. People are not outsourcing their decision-making to me.”

Yet, even top-rated coaches with long track records can find themselves with dependent clients.

Kevin McHugh, a coach who has worked with thousands of chief executive officers since he started coaching in 1990, has experienced “clients getting stuck” a few times in his career and dealt with the problem by ending the relationship.

“If they aren’t really moving and they want to continue the coaching relationship, I think the coach is responsible for his or her own moral and ethical response to keep billing someone who is obviously dependent,” McHugh said. But he added, “I’ve had my best results after I’ve had to cut the cord.”

Mark Moses, a California coach who specializes in entrepreneurs, said he has had a couple of clients who “don’t want to make a decision without asking me. When that happens, I push back to the client. I tell them I’m not the CEO. I’m an advisor to the company and my role is to help you with strategy, vision and direction.”

Some coaches recommend referring clients who stop making progress to another professional—a psychologist perhaps—who could better address the underlying issues that undermine the clients’ efforts. And if dependency becomes a frequent issue, perhaps there is something in the coach and not the client that needs addressing.

“I would examine myself to see what I was doing to foster this and correct it,” one survey responder wrote. [I would] encourage him/her to have the confidence to stand alone.”