October 31, 2009 – New York Times – USA
Over the course of 12 years, I tumbled inside a kaleidoscope of meetings. The constant jockeying to be heard, the instant replays of “he said, she said” in my head, and the racing to the finish line without enough time for reflection kept me awake on Sunday nights.
I learned to attach my name to my accomplishments, which took an extra push for me. I had to strike a balance between the culture of hubris that dominated Wall Street and my natural inclination toward modesty, which possibly stemmed from being an introvert and from my upbringing as a girl in our society. Succumbing to the modesty meant being relegated to the margins as a worker bee instead of the more privileged ranks as a core contributor.
I also became better at speaking up at meetings, articulating my accomplishments and building a strong professional network. But while I had learned to walk the walk, I sensed that something was missing.
With the encouragement of an executive coach I’d hired, I took a leave of absence. Practically overnight, my inkblot of a calendar was transformed into a blank white sheet. I slept for the first few months and awoke to a new perspective. Read story.
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