Retirees May Find It Tough To Build Life Outside Work

From The Associated Press

May 24, 2009

They are the former mayor who quips that she’s yesterday news, the retired judge seeking an identity without the robe, and the laid off consultant unnerved by a lack of purpose.

For some, retirement or a layoff comes as a blessing. For others, it amounts to killing time as they wonder: “How do I get a life?”

“There’s such an assault to your identity when you retire,” said Nancy Schlossberg, a former psychology professor at the University of Maryland.

Retired Army Lt. Col. Bob Thomas, 68, who lives in Allendale, Va., with his wife, Christine Ketcham, said he spends most days watching old Western movies, playing golf or volunteering at the Manassas National Battlefield Park in Virginia. It’s a big adjustment after 28 years in the service.

“It’s tough,” says the history buff, who also worked as a contracting officer for defense companies like SAIC Inc. following his retirement from the military in 1991. Half the challenge is getting through the process of identifying yourself as a retiree, he says.

Thomas has since found himself temporary projects like writing an article about his distant ancestors, who lost all six of their sons in the Civil War, but says one of the hardest aspects of managing retirement is finding a new drive to get up every day.

“You have a huge change of motivation,” says Thomas, who lives comfortably with his wife on her government salary and his military pension and social security. “You do what you want to do, not what you have to do.”

So, how can you reinvent yourself after retirement?

First, figure out what your individual strengths are, says Howard Stone, 73, a certified life coach based in Palm Beach Garden, Fla., and co-author of 2Young2Retire. If you don’t know, ask former colleagues, take a self-assessment test, or talk to family and friends. Stone left a career in international advertising sales and publishing to be a life coach at 64.

Find your passion, no matter how big or small. Pick three things and start the process of honing in on what you really want to do.

Stone decided to help baby boomers make healthier decisions about their next life stage.

Overcome your fear of the unknown. Dwelling on the negative will bring you down, says Stone.Instead, focus on the positive things in your life, and what you can do.

Draft a plan to reach your goals, whether it’s finding a career counselor, taking a class, or designing your own internship – which doesn’t have to include answering phones and stuffing envelopes.

Stone says it’s a waste to throw away years of experience in the work force that can be put toward better use than sitting idly by, even if it’s just through volunteer work. “Older people think they are no longer as useful, or in demand,” says Stone. “(But) getting involved that’s what’s important.”

Career coach Brian Kurth, founder of VocationVacations, a service that allows individuals to try out their dream jobs, says retirees need to consider their current health, and what it might be in 5 to 10 years. They should also do a financial assessment and figure out how much they need to live on.

Schlossberg, the professor and author of Revitalizing Retirement, says to find a person or group outside your immediate circle to talk to about different options. Groups can be a professional organization or community college with career counselors.

For those who solely define themselves by their work the leap is much more difficult.

“They’re really not happy. They don’t want to give up work,” says Candy Spitz, a certified life coach and career counselor in Virginia who has some clients in the Washington metro area accustomed to working 60-hour weeks.

That’s why Spitz encourages people to think about the psychological impact of retiring just as much as their financial preparation.

“Some people don’t think about it until it happens,” Spitz says. “It’s a whole different thing retiring from your main career, if you do it on your own terms versus taking a buyout.”

She recommends preparing yourself for that in between stage of letting go of one venture and starting anew.

Whenever you enter a new life stage, there will always be a moment when you are in no man’s land, even if you’ve planned for retirement in advance, Spitz says.

Unlike many, Connie Challingsworth, 60, of Allentown, Pa., had considered what she wanted to be “when she grew up” over the years.

Still, she was nervous when she got her pink slip from Pfizer in January following 12 years of service as a pharmaceutical sales representative. “It’s always difficult, the fear of the unknown.”

But the layoff was a blessing.

She received a severance package that enabled her to pursue a degree in psychology. She is now working with Stone to become a certified life coach, which she says is a perfect fit.

Schlossberg says exiting the work force can be just like graduating from high school or college.

“There are some who know exactly what they want to do, and others that are floundering,” she says. “It’s a great deal of trial and error.”

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