December 5, 2009 – Stamford Plus Magazine – CT, USA
For those people who are facing this holiday season for the first time as a newly divorced person, a black cloud may loom. It is a highly difficult time but the key to surviving the holidays is to plan ahead, says Divorce Recovery Life Coach, Shelley Stile.
Stile suggests these highly effective plans you can make to ensure this holiday season is easier and more enjoyable:
-Emotions can attack at any time; prepare beforehand. Know that you will have major bouts of sadness, anger…whatever. Go easy and give yourself as much nurturing as you can muster.
-Get in touch with all the things that you know lift your mood and stay away from anything that upsets or makes you sad. If trimming the tree with old ornaments makes you sad…don’t. Go out and get new ones or sit with the kids and make them yourselves.
Do the things that make you feel better. If you had no obligations what activities would you engage in? Would you go to the theater? Spend the day at the museum? Get a massage and facial? Go hiking? Do it.
-Watch your expectations. The world paints an unrealistic picture of the holidays. So do we. Unrealistic and unachievable expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment. Read story.
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The holidays can be difficult in divorce. I always use a positive attitude and try to stay busy with exercise, home improvements or other useful time spent. This helps boost self esteem, knowing you have done something positive with your time.
I have written a positive book about how to make a great divorce recovery to help the millions of us in divorce each year. Thanks for your interest, Brian Daniel
Marriages are made in heaven but celebrated on earth. But sometimes these celebrations turn sour because of several reasons and take the form of divorce, thus parting the souls which were meant to stay together. The pain through which the divorced people pass cannot be expressed in words.